Who is She?

I met her in college not far from the banks of the Cedar River. I was introduced to her by a close high school buddy while we studied computer science together up at the University of Northern Iowa. While the attraction was immediate it was more like a new shoe that didn’t fit right. See, she didn’t care that I was dating my future wife at the time. In fact she was perfectly content to take whatever time I could afford her after studies and dating. It was the perfect scenario.

She was new and sexy and she knew it. It started casually simple and while I tried to hide my attraction for her she could see right through it. Attraction like that can’t be contained either. I tried to bottle it up, keep it to myself but it was impossible. Everybody knew she was seeing others but, frankly, I didn’t care. Because when I did see her, I left feeling refreshed and youthful. It shouldn’t be a surprise when I say that she changed me forever.

They say three is a crowd but, sorry, not this time. That’s not some sort of machismo or chauvinistic perspective either. I needed them both because each filled vastly different needs. They were the perfect compliment. We were the perfect triangle. That triangle is now very much an equilibrium whose delicate balance can be hard to maintain but I’ve done it for over ten years and the effort has been well worth it. It is as God intended.

While my wife and I are now busy growing a happy family she is being abused. As a man I feel helpless. Slandered in public, forced to justify the actions of her past she has drawn attention from those that can’t understand her influence, especially on men. Fear of the unknown is not fear, rather, ignorance and now the ignorant want to get rid of her.

But she is part of me now. She’s a part of my family. My wife, my kids hell, even my dog have all come to love her as I do. She is spiritual, has the power to heal, brings clarity in times of hardship, can help build lifetime memories and she knows the importance of starting new friendships and how to strengthen family bonds.

She is Hunting. She is God.

Take her from me and you take away who I am in a single, “undefining” moment. And that’s something I’m not willing to let happen.