Holiday Reflections

This holiday season isn’t going to be the same as in year’s past. My family has lost loved ones this year and it simply will not be the same without them. Not enough time has passed to close the wounds. So it is with pain that tonight I made out some Christmas cards…I don’t usually do them but neither Kate and I were eager to do them as the mood just isn’t striking us. Sad but true. So the cards are as personal as I could muster with pictures of of two whitetails, a doe and a buck, a short saying on the inside inscribed with the names of our family. We included a picture of the girls in front of our tree for more of a personal touch. But it just isn’t the same.

See, my mom loved Christmas. Her house was 100% Christmas fun and it wasn’t until this year that the spirit of the holidays is what makes this time of year special. Not the cards, not the trees with their lights…not the gifts. Without family Christmas would have no meaning. All quite obvious to the casual reader but trust me, knowing what I say is true and feeling the truth is two different things. We are doing our best to keep a positive attitude toward the holiday but between the season’s well wishes I can’t help but feel pain. I know, get over it. And I plan to in time. But time is the hurdle and I can’t help but wonder how many Christmas seasons will go by before we can enjoy the season as we once had. I feel it will never be the same. But I have re-learned the importance of family…something that I feel some in my family sadly continue to take for granted.

I have no intentions of airing my family’s dirty laundry as all families have some. I guess that if I could I would have added an appendix to this year’s card with some key points. Live and love. Stay in touch with family. Spoil the kids in the family. Step out of your shell and try things you might not typically do (particularly if you are older). Have fun. Never fear death. Never fear death? That’s right, I said it. With the exception of children, if we all lived our lives to the fullest death would not be a cause for fear because you wouldn’t have held back or had cause for the “what if” conversations on your death bed. All this is somber, but please don’t get lost in that…gleam the meaning of this message as it is the only real gift I feel I can offer this holiday season.

And for my mom, Grandpa Bob, Aunt Gertie and the others in my family that have gone before me, I plan to spill a drink with them, enjoy a cigar with them, remember them and hopefully spread this message to others this holiday season.